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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Top 10 Breakup Songs of All Time

Here is my completely unsolicited list of my top ten breakup songs of all time. This is a surprisingly competitive category. Tell me what I forgot in the comments, or make your own. I love breakup songs and I would love to hear your favourites!

Heartbreak is a really unpleasant experience at times, but it is also educational and helps you mature. That said, I don't think human beings could ever get through it alone. Family, friends, and even kind strangers can be invaluable as you struggle to regain your faith in the human race, but unfortunately, most of the letting go, moving on and soul searching has to be done on your own. You are never truly alone, however, if you have likeminded strangers. Artists can cut right to the core of what you are feelings and practically explain the whole ugly mess to you. So when your heart is smashed, come back to this list.

in ascending order:

10. Miss Ghost -- Don Henley

Easily one of the most interesting songs on this list, it is pretty lyrically complex. My take on this song is that it is Don Henley's personal rewrite of The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. Instead of the ghost of a dead lover, however, the ghost is a memory of a woman he was drinking to forget. The song's combination of electric organ, totally tight drums and guitar riffing and ghostly backing vocals with Henley's typical scratchy delivery make this a haunting psychic journey. My father had a very different interpretation of the song's meaning, interestingly enough. I usually win literary criticism arguments with Dad, but he had a compelling argument that the character Miss Ghost is liquor, and that this song is Don Henley wrestling with his alcoholic past. Best line to support Dad's claim also happens to be the best line of the song: "I cursed the weakness of the flesh, this breath and bone, and that brute reptilian brain".

9. Bloody Motherfucking Asshole -- Martha Wainwright

This song has to be one of Martha's most famous ones, with a title that just insists that you press play. Though the title is gimmicky, the song is actually a very impassioned and pained folk-protest style song, except that instead of being directed at Nixon or Thatcher and their acolytes, it's aimed squarely at one particular jerkoff. There is a strong argument to be made that this is not a breakup song at all, but rather addressed to her distant and emotionally messed up father, Loudon Wainwright. In that case, it may be just a song about her daddy issues, which is really interesting in its own right. For a listener though, it is REALLY easy to yelp along with Martha and direct the words at the ex. So cathartic! Best line: "I've been poked and stoked, it's all smoke, there's no more fire..."

8. Your Cheatin' Heart -- Hank Willams

First one from the master of the broken heart. A really upbeat track that just happens to feature one of the most wrenching lyrics I have ever heard. Hank's pain is so naked and plain that if he were singing in Swahili, I would still know what he was singing about. Only a broken heart can hurt like that. He reportedly wrote it in a taxi, telling the driver to keep driving around as the words came to him, not long before he died. Slide guitar, snare drum, upright bass and fiddle...so simple that it's impossible to explain. It's hard to choose a best line because Hank Williams's lyrics defy quotation a lot of the time. If I read you the lyric it would be good, but in Hank's heartbroken twang it becomes something otherworldly, but here's a favourite: "When tears come down like falling rain, you'll toss around and call my name".

7. One Man Guy -- (cover) Rufus Wainwright

I think it's interesting that the three Wainwrights made the list. This song, sung by Rufus and written by his father, Loudon, is clearly about the time after the divorce that split Wainwright from his wife, Kate McGarrigle, Rufus and Martha's mother. On one hand, it seems as though the singer is finding solace and comfort in his ability to be alone, but there is an irony to this song that makes it impossible to believe what the singer says. It could just as easily be a lament as a manifesto. Maybe being alone doesn't have to be so lonely, but first you have to face the fact that you are alone. Best line: "Sure it's kind of lonely, yeah it sort of sick; being your own one and only is a dirty, selfish trick."

6. Love In Vain Blues -- Robert Johnson

A very simple song detailing a man's walk to the train station with his woman, who is presumably leaving. Just Johnson and his deft blues guitar--really vintage. Three verses of singing and one of half-hearted moaning--and the simplest, most frustrating feeling: The feeling of giving your love to someone only to get none back. The short and tidy construction of the songs reminds the listener how the world goes on about him even though he remains heartbroken. All your broken heart gets is a short blues. Best line: "The train left the station with two lights on behind. The blue light was my blues and the red light was my mind".

5. Heartbreak Warfare -- John Mayer

Does anyone know which of John Mayers dozen celebrity girlfriends this song is about? If it is Jessica Simpson, I will be both amused and disappointed. The lyric is great though--it's so apropos and simple. In an interesting juxtaposition, Mayer alternates between the banal but stinging unpleasantness of post-breakup conversations and images of WW2 style battlefields: "Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again / Clouds of sulphur in the air, bombs are falling everywhere". This song strikes me as being really true. Sometimes the hardest part about breaking up is not the pain of it, but having to pretend you don't care about someone you still really love. It really seems twisted that you have to go from knowing someone really really intimately to pretending that you don't give a shit. I would imagine John Mayer is NOT really very good at staying friends with someone after a breakup. Best line: "Red wine and Ambien; you're talking shit again" (+10 points if it's about Jessica Simpson).

4. Goodbye Blue Monday -- Jeremy Fisher

Arguably one of the saddest songs on this list, I would definitely rate this one as the most poetic. I could write a whole essay on this song, and I am starting to think that someday soon I will. Fisher writes a beautiful mix of the common and the cosmic. I might even consider this as a visionary type text in some respects. He definitely shifts from the literal to the metaphoric and even anagogic levels in his lyric; he really just seems to go wherever the feelings take him. The song feels like it has a three-act structure. He starts on what seems to be a familiar street, with his surroundings flicking on the memories of a lost love, and the language turns religious, recalling Dante and Beatrice (might be a stretch, haha). The next verse takes him to the sky and outer space chasing the memory of his lost love, who has taken the form of a "red balloon". The final verse, which is really a bridge, is direct and literal, breaking down the poetic barriers. The lead-in the final chorus is the tragically literal and all too common ending to modern romances, and also the best line: "You fell in love with your ambition--white noise lies on the television. A dime a dozen, one in a million, I guess my vote couldn't change your decision--Goodbye".

3. You Win Again -- Hank Williams

Clocking in at 2:36, this is the shortest song on the list, and I have played it on a loop at times when feeling heartbroken. More mournful and openly sad than the earlier entry by Mr. Williams, this one is also more vulnerable, admitting defeat to the ex. It is a depressing feeling to be the one dumped, or to find out that your ex has moved on faster than you. Williams is turning that around, however, and pointing out how this insensitive woman kicked his heart around and took advantage of their disparity of feelings. Sometimes love does feel like a competition, and it is no fun to be the loser. The best line of this song may be the best line of the list, because this is what love does--it makes us blind and hopelessly stupid: "This heart of mine could never see what everybody knew but me".

2. Fuck You -- Ceelo Green

Also released as a cleaned-up version, "Forget You", which I also love. I play that version when I am arranging desks in my classroom and want to dance a little bit. Basically one of the catchiest songs I have ever heard, and its mix of regret, lingering feelings and anger is SO relatable. It's an anthem because it mixes an amazing hook with feelings that EVERYBODY has felt or will someday feel. I personally think that wanting to say "fuck you" to your ex's new boy/girl is the most normal thing in the universe, and blasting this song in the car is a lot better than getting sloshed at a party where you both show up and saying some really regrettable things. It's really hard to feel blue about your breakup while this song is playing--it just lifts you up. Moving from morose self-pity to bitter spitefulness is a really important step in getting over somebody, in my unprofessional opinion haha. Best line: "I tried to tell my mama and she told me 'this is one for your dad". <---That shit stings.

1. Heartless -- Kanye West

This was, is, and likely will forever be my go-to breakup anthem. Naturally, I hope I don't need a go-to breakup anthem anytime soon, or ever, but it is good to be prepared. This song, like "Fuck You" is right on the cusp between morose self-pity and bitter spite. This is a really shitty way to feel, but I REALLY believe what Kanye is saying. While there is a little bit more self-mocking humour in "Fuck You", I truly believe that to Kanye, this is "the coldest story ever told". At the same time, it has an upbeat track and a really nice flow from Kanye, so you can dance and groove out your anger and hurt feelings--not a bad idea at all, in my opinion. Best line: "You say you got a new friend? Well, I got homies...but in the end it's still so lonely".

Here's to healed hearts and a Happy New Year full of love!

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